Monday, March 31, 2008

I think I need to buy a book....

I was talking to a sweet friend about this last night. I seriously hate to rag on my daughter in any way because there are times that I think she is the sweetest, smartest, most precious thing in the world. BUT---there are times that I really need to take a time-out from her. From day one of her turning 2 years old she has changed. She is talking a mile a minute, which is completely fun and adorable, until the words, "NO", "MOMMY STOP", or "Un Mimmet" (one minute) come out of her mouth. Little sassy pants! And the tantrums---OH MY WORD---she can bend her body in ways that gymnasts can't, I think. I dragged (yes, dragged) her up the stairs yesterday just trying to get her dressed for church. She didn't want to because she was watching cartoons. I was literally doing the "hold her up by one arm and swatting her diaper with the other hand" walk up the stairs! We try everything with her.....go to your room, stand in the corner, spanking, and ashamedly I've even thumped her on the arm before. So, I need some advice, what to do, how to deal, anything. At the least, tell me a good book to buy! Seriously, I love her to death...... but, ......

19 comments:

Cheryl said...

I wish I could recommend something, but - having no children - I can't. But I do love Supper Nanny!

Noe Family said...

Wonder who that sweet friend was? ha,ha!! Girl, you know my story is the same as yours. Let me know what advice you get!!

Jodi said...

I got nothin'. R is starting the same things... and I hope to feed off of any good advice you get. Seriously, love them to PIECES... but... :)

Cara said...

Wish I had better news, but....Zachary has done the same thing as soon as he turned two. Camden also did it and he didn't snap out of it until about a year ago - 4 yrs old. But there is light at the end of the tunnel!

The Keltners said...

Your child does what!! HA, Just kidding, welcome to the two's. Let me know when you find that magic answer!

Krystal said...

Hey Kendra...hope you don't mind me commenting, but I just had too! Hannah did (does) this too. It's called strong-willed, and there is not much you can do about it other than be consistent and pick your battles. I'm not saying "let her win", but it's ok to let her win some less important things. What also helps us too is giving Hannah a choice between two things. To her it's all about control, or power. The more you assert your authority the more she pushes back (at least that's how it is here.) When you give choices then she feels more in control. By the way I was also pregnant with #2 when Hannah turned 2. I don't know if that had anything to do with her being strong willed, or just the luck of the draw. I'm hoping Kaity is going to be a mommy-pleaser!! Good Luck!

Judy said...

Kendra,
I am just now catching up on your blog. Did I or did I not say you were having a boy at Mother's bd party when Lisa was doing that silly pencil on a string thing?! Ha! One for me! The August boy birthstone was an omen for sure! As for sweet Cassidee and her tantrums...enter the realm of the two year olds in the Hess family...Ask your grandmother about your dad! (I was the perfect child of course!) She stopped his tantrums with a water hose. (She didn't beat him, she turned the water on him! And then there is your cousin Lisa and a step down Taylor. You are just in for it girl! But so far the tempermental ones have turned out okay. Don't tell your dad I said that! The jury is still out on Taylor, but she is a teenager. Actually the one thing that will work is being VERY consistent in whatever you decide to do. You can't let her have her way one time and crack down on her the next. That just confuses them. It's hard because you love them so much. Trust me, she will still love you.

Anonymous said...

Okay you know I think she's about the smartest little thing in this world with sooo much personality and absolutely adorable. Twos stage is one of the best years they are soo cute and their sweet personality is just shining thru and really what is your real problem with that precious innocent little person? She's trying her best to get every thing her way so can't you just give her A plus for a job perfectly done? Seriously just being consistent about the important things no matter how many times that day you've had to deal with them will get you way on done the road. My kids are 34 and 30 and to be honest I was in the same boat with mine. I don't think my son attended one of his birthday parties till he was 4 or 5 and 5 was his last one maybe one or two more. You and Jeremy are great parents-keep up the good work. Love you Barbie

Kimberly said...

Do you want to trade two year olds? I think this is why they call them "terrible two's". All I can say is that we DO love them to pieces and can be thankful that our strong willed little girls will grow up to be "don't mess with me, independent, do it myself, don't boss me around, big little girls".
Love your terrible two year old - and mine!

The Blakes said...

A good book to read is Dare to Discipline by Dobson. I think Andrea Noe has my copy. Hang in there, it will get better!

Bunch of Oranges said...

just don't let her ruin you or your mood...stay calm and brace yourself....its going to be a while.... They say 3 is worse and IT is! I know what sets Noah off, so I try to work around that... we lay his clothes out downstairs on Sat. night and turn on cartoons before he comes down, juice and granola bar ready and dress him while he watches tv/wakes up! Basically treat him like a king.... Ha! It use to be exactly what you are describing!!!!Her "one minute" makes me roll! I think she is a doll!

Judy said...

Oh yeah,
Lisa (colorado) reminded me I forgot to mention Grandmother, Kayla and Mackenzie in that wonderful family geneology. Good luck!
Love, J.

Amber said...

My mom read The Strong Willed Child with me and I read it when Sage was about that age.

Julie said...

OK...so I BlogStalk often, but I never post, but I have to encouarge you a bit. Just know that she is learning to be two at the same time you are learning to be a mom of a 2-year old. And just say to yourself, "She's 2 and GOOD at it!!" A few things we do is we call it "Tacky" when the children act like that. We use that word only during those times...like a trigger word. It helps to label that behavior for them. When they back talk, we call it "Sassy". Just giving it a label helps us and them identify the behavior. The other thing that helps is the 1, 2, 3 method. We count all the time. So on the first disobediant behavior. "That's being tacky. That's #1." etc. And we count FAST, no delays or 1 1/2. Just 1, 2, 3. And if they get to 3, time out. Then we do it all over again. The older they get the numbers get less. So our 3 year old gets 3, our 5 year olds gets 2, and our 6 year old gets 1. Does that make sense? I have to say that I am not a fan of books, but I have read just about all of what has been suggested and I did enjoy "The Strong Willed Child." But for me, those two things really work. They're easy and fast and the children really understand it. Hope that helps!

Tracy said...

Well...we are pretty much in the same phase with Bryson. I have never read The Strong Willed Child, but heard it was good. Just keep in mind that every child is different. She's 2 (like Bryson) and they are going to test us every single day and drive us insane. Bryson is rotten rotten rotten a LOT of the time these days! Whew...it does get tiring. Hang in there. It's just a phase, try to find what works, and just know that this will pass! ...and she'll be your sweet girl again.

I read Julie's comment...the "1,2,3" works with Bryson too. If we do get to "3", we give him a spanking every time. We also do time out, not in his room though. We have a place in our hallway that he has to sit at until he stops crying and then he has to sit there for 2 more minutes and he has to say he's sorry. Good luck!

Jennifer K said...

We are attempting the love and logic approach on some things. E sounds a lot like Cass! Oh what fun times we have! Our church has been doing a series on Love and Logic and I used it in the classroom too. The website is http://www.loveandlogic.com Everyday is different! :)

Leah (Galloway) Flores said...

Kendra Broom. Your little girl is so cute. And congrats on the little boy on the way. I can't believe how long it's been since we were roommates for 3 weeks and lifeguards together. God Bless!

Alison said...

Hi! So great to hear from you! I laughed at your post! I can already see Chloe now when she is 2! The nurse in the hospital told us she was strong willed after she was only a day old! AHHH!!! I am so excited about your sweet little boy on the way!

The Timberframer's Wife said...

Like others have said, each child is so different. Laura never hit a rough phase, but our two bookends were more hardheaded, we say here. I totally agree that consistency is key, coupled with prayers for wisdom and patience. And lots of snuggling and playing together. We are in the middle of it with our big guy these days. Have fun! I mean that.